A Wedding at Sandy Cove Page 5

  ‘Lorraine, why the hell did you invite Martha? You know I can’t stand her,’ said Brittany, her voice a low hiss.

  Lorraine came in and shut the door. The room felt like it was shrinking. Ella focused on unpacking her bag while the uncomfortable exchange continued.

  ‘I was one short. So Mum suggested her.’ Lorraine shrugged and went to open the door.

  ‘Hang on. What do you mean one short?’ asked Brittany.

  ‘This place sleeps fifteen. I wasn’t going to waste a bed. It brought the cost down by nine pounds each.’ Lorraine glanced at Ella but she concentrated on finding somewhere for her boots and avoided eye contact.

  ‘You’ve invited someone who has been my arch nemesis my whole life just to save a few quid?’ Ella thought she could see Brittany start to shake.

  Lorraine laughed. ‘Don’t be overdramatic. Anyway we have to leave right this instant or the whole weekend will be spoiled.’ She began shooing them from the room.

  Lucy and Ella made eye contact. Lucy mouthed ‘batshit crazy megalomaniac’. It was hard to disagree.

  ***

  Lucy found she suddenly had a carful as Lorraine directed scared-looking strangers into vehicles. Ella had bagsied the front seat as Lucy’s navigator, Midge had gone for the car nearest the door. Lucy hoped her seat belt was long enough to stretch over her enormous baby bump. Auntie Rita dived in alongside Midge and Brittany sneaked in quickly in an attempt to keep her distance from both Martha and Lorraine. Midge made a groaning sound. Lucy clocked Brittany’s terrified expression in the rear-view mirror.

  ‘Everything okay?’ she asked.

  ‘Indigestion,’ said Midge, giving her tummy a rub.

  Lucy put on her sunglasses. ‘Right, ladies. My name is Lucy and I am your chauffeur for the afternoon.’

  ‘Fabulous!’ hollered Auntie Rita, pulling a bottle of Amaretto out of her handbag and making her charm bracelet jingle excitedly. ‘Let’s get the party started.’ Midge popped out a couple of Rennie. Brittany looked like she was on the verge of tears.

  First stop was thankfully only a short drive into Thetford Forest. They passed a sign promising them a bird’s eye view from the treetops. Lucy wasn’t outdoorsy or rugged but she did quite like to push herself so of all the things Lorraine had come up with this was the one she found the least horrendous.

  Brittany took a sharp intake of breath. ‘What the actual f—’

  ‘Zip wires and a treetop walkway for an adrenaline buzz with beautiful views,’ read out Ella quickly. ‘That sounds … um … nice.’

  Lucy parked up next to Lorraine who was already out of her car and waving a clipboard in a menacing fashion. Auntie Rita exited the car and, after a lot of bum shuffling, Midge followed her. Brittany’s face appeared between the headrests. ‘I am terrified of heights. I once fainted on the roller coaster at Great Yarmouth.’

  ‘Always good to face your fears though,’ said Lucy in an attempt at being positive. She feared it was going to be an even longer weekend than she’d expected.

  ‘Sod that,’ replied Brittany. ‘How many years in prison if I murder two people?’ she asked, her eyes following her sister as she darted from car to car shouting instructions which were mostly ignored.

  ‘Officially it would be two life sentences. However, I think you’d have grounds for provocation, probably get it reduced to manslaughter and there’s always diminished responsibility. Maybe twenty years but you’d only serve about sixteen.’ Lucy smiled over her shoulder.

  ‘Totally worth it,’ said Brittany and she got out of the car.

  Lucy and Ella followed and were herded by Lorraine into two teams. A long debate raged over one team having one more person than the other. ‘Fifteen’s not such a good number now,’ muttered Brittany when Lorraine passed her and for a moment Lucy thought there might be a cat fight. But Martha broke a nail putting on her harness and started having a meltdown triggering Lorraine to intervene spouting something about waivers.

  ***

  Half an hour into activity number one Ella found herself very high up and inching along a cargo net towards a terrified-looking Brittany. Brittany had her arms through the holes gripping the net to her like her life depended on it – which, given the drop, wasn’t far from the truth. Lorraine had already gone ahead and as she was rigidly observing the two people per section rule she could only holler at her sister from a distance. Ella wasn’t yet sure if that was a blessing or an added hindrance.

  ‘If you don’t move you’re going to delay everything!’ shouted Lorraine.

  ‘Maybe I should jump and end this torture now!’ shouted back Brittany, glancing down. She shut her eyes tight and pushed her cheek against the rope. ‘Don’t let me die, don’t let me die,’ she whispered.

  ‘There’s no trip to A and E on the agenda,’ shouted Lucy but she ducked behind a tree when Lorraine swivelled precariously in her direction.

  ‘Brittany, it’s going to be all right,’ said Ella, carefully moving her weight forward which made the net shudder and consequently Brittany too. ‘Can you look at me?’ She’d seen someone else say that when they were coaxing a person down from somewhere. Now she thought about it, it was a police drama and the person threw themselves off a building so probably not the best example but it was all she had. ‘I need you to help me, Brittany.’

  Brittany opened one eye and judged her suspiciously – a lot like Pirate did when it was time to give him his flea treatment and she was offering him tuna as a sweetener. ‘I can’t get across to the platform unless you help me.’ Ella nodded in the direction of where Lorraine was standing with her hands on her hips shaking her head repeatedly.

  Brittany looked across and Lorraine threw up her hands. ‘For heaven’s sake. Don’t make me call the ranger to get you down. You’ll look like a right idiot and have to go and sit in the coffee shop with Midge.’

  ‘Lorraine!’ shouted Lucy from two trees away. ‘We need you over here.’

  Ella let go of the net with one hand to give Lucy a quick thumbs up.

  ‘Why?’ called back Lorraine.

  ‘Big confusion over outfits for tonight,’ yelled Lucy. ‘And someone thinks your timings are off.’

  ‘What? I’m coming over. Why is everything difficult as soon as you involve other people?’ Lorraine muttered to herself before crawling into a tunnel and disappearing.

  Ella kept her voice calm. ‘Okay, Brittany. It’s just you and me. It’s not far. You can do this.’

  ‘I can’t,’ whispered Brittany.

  ‘You are stronger than you know. Let’s do it together. Okay?’

  There was a painfully long pause before Brittany gave a tentative nod. Progress, thought Ella. She moved closer at a steady pace, taking care not to make the net sway unnecessarily. She was one rung away from Brittany when her mobile phone sprang into life making the birdlife take to the air in a dramatic fashion. Brittany squealed and gripped tighter.

  ‘Bugger it.’ Ella fumbled for her phone. She was more intent on shutting off the loud ringing than answering it but when she saw who it was her curiosity got the better of her. ‘Kit, Hi. Everything okay?’

  Brittany stared at her. ‘Seriously?’

  Ella mouthed. ‘Just a minute.’

  ‘I’m fine,’ said Kit. ‘Is now a good time?’

  ‘Well …’ Ella looked around her. ‘I’m up a tree with a bride-to-be who’s having a panic attack soooo …’

  He laughed, clearly he assumed she was joking. ‘Awesome. Mum let slip where they’re going tonight so I was wondering about calling and cancelling their table. What do you think? Too mean?’

  ‘Not nice but then we don’t want them to have a nice time together. I suppose it’s justified.’

  ‘Exactly what I thought. If I call them now hopefully the restaurant will have time to fill the booking.’

  Ella glanced at Brittany whose eyes were bush baby wide. ‘Sorry, Kit, I’m going to have to go. But maybe we could have a debrief when Jane gets home?’

  ‘Won’t you be out pulling hot men?’

  ‘I’m sure I can spare five minutes for you.’ Ella giggled and then wondered what she was doing. Was she flirting when she was forty feet up in a forest canopy?

  ‘Ella?’ Brittany’s voice was trembly.

  ‘I have to go.’

  ‘Look, Ella, I had a great time the other evening and—’

  For a moment Ella thought Brittany was making a move to get to the ledge as she had loosened her grip on the netting. What she’d actually done was faint and let go entirely. Ella watched as Brittany fell away from the net. Ella’s stomach lurched.

  ‘Shit!’ Ella dropped her phone and made a grab for Brittany. As they were both in secure harnesses Brittany didn’t actually fall at all. She sort of slid away from the net in slow motion – almost ballet-like.

  ‘Brittany!’ screamed Lorraine from some way away – a disembodied voice through the trees.

  ‘She’s fine,’ called back Ella, really hoping she was. Ella held onto Brittany’s harness with one hand and slowly made her way across the net dragging a limp Brittany along with her. It took quite a bit of effort. Ella scrambled onto the platform and now had to try to get the dead weight of her friend on too – no mean feat. A ripple of applause echoed through the forest as Ella hauled Brittany half onto the wooden shelf-like structure.

  Brittany stirred. ‘Where am I?’

  Ella wasn’t sure telling her would help the situation at all. ‘You’re with me. It’s all fine.’

  ‘On my way!’ Came a shout from below. Ella peered over the edge to see a ranger running towards them and she relaxed a fraction. Unfortunately, Brittany turned to look too which was enough to tip her weight and she slid off the platform to dangle in mid-air.

  ‘Whoops. Sorry!’ Ella called as Brittany’s screams echoed around the peaceful woodland.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Lucy had to admit she had quite enjoyed the afternoon treetop adventure including the drama that had played out with Brittany and Lorraine. The zip wires over the treetops had been spectacular and thanks to the flat topography of Norfolk she could see for miles as she’d whizzed through the air with her arms and legs in star formation. Despite scooping bark into her underwear every time she’d come to the end of a zip line it had been lots of fun.

  A ranger had come to save Brittany and had carefully winched her down to the ground – like a budget air-sea rescue without the helicopter and waves. Back at the accommodation there was allotted time for lunch and perusal of the comedy items they had each bought as forfeits for a drinking game to be played later. It appeared Auntie Rita had ransacked her local Poundland and Midge had invested quite a bit of money on intricately locking handcuffs. Lucy and Ella’s joint contribution were the willie-shaped whistle and multiple willie straws.

  Lorraine had arranged for a delivery of sandwiches which had arrived on large plastic platters and there was plenty for everyone. However, a lack of labelling was sending Lorraine into another meltdown but Lucy quite liked the lucky dip approach. Then again she wasn’t a vegan with a long list of allergies.

  ‘Coronation chicken,’ said Lucy, pointing to the sandwiches next to where she’d taken her latest one from.

  Lorraine dashed over. ‘Any peanut?’

  Lucy chewed carefully. ‘Absolutely no idea.’ Lorraine huffed and took another one off to dissect in the kitchen.

  Brittany was curled up on one of the extra-large sofas sipping a glass of water. The sofa was a pale cream leather and Brittany’s complexion was a similar shade. Lucy went over. ‘How are you feeling?’ she asked.

  Her expression was stony. ‘Like I’m living my worst nightmare but won’t wake up.’

  ‘Look at it this way. It can’t get any worse than fainting on a zip wire.’ Brittany’s eyebrows registered doubt. ‘Unless you have any other fears or phobias. Do you?’

  ‘Snakes and dentists.’

  ‘I can categorically confirm that there are none of those due to feature anywhere in the rest of the weekend apart from the dentist versus anaconda wrestling show this evening.’ Brittany looked alarmed. ‘I’m joking. Trust me every minute has been planned so if they were involved it would be documented somewhere in the orientation pack.’

  There was the briefest of smiles. ‘I thought I liked surprises,’ mused Brittany. ‘Turns out I hate them with a passion. I like it when I’m surprising someone else. Perhaps I’m more like Lorraine than I’d like to admit.’ They both watched Lorraine who was frantically writing sandwich fillings on sticky notes and slapping them on sandwiches even though they were disappearing fast. Midge picked up a cheese sandwich, Lorraine took it off her, labelled it vegetarian and plonked it back on the platter.

  ‘I’m pretty sure there’s no one quite like Lorraine,’ said Lucy.

  ***

  Ella felt bad about poor Brittany and the whole treetop adventure but Lorraine was pleased with the photographs they’d got of Brittany being rescued because she said they would look impressive in the montage she would be putting together as a life milestone souvenir – whatever that was. The afternoon was a more relaxed affair because it involved do-it-yourself spa treatments, at least it would have been if it weren’t for Lorraine popping up to take photographs of people smeared in clay face packs making them look like startled swamp creatures.

  Ella had spent most of the afternoon sipping prosecco with her feet in strange plastic bags which purported to be foot moisturising packs. At least Brittany seemed to have cheered up as she had been well and truly pampered with everyone taking a moment to help her with a number of treatments. She’d had a mini facial and face pack followed by hand exfoliation and a manicure. Auntie Rita was meant to be doing the foot thing on her too, but she’d fallen asleep with a half-eaten cheese and cucumber sandwich on her lap which Lorraine was unhappy about because Auntie Rita wasn’t even a vegetarian.

  Ella was painting Midge’s toenails because she couldn’t see her toes let alone reach them. ‘If I fall asleep don’t take it personally,’ said Midge. ‘I need a power nap before tonight.’

  Ella was a little concerned that Midge was planning on coming clubbing. She made a mental note to see how far it was to the local maternity ward before they left. ‘Is this your first baby?’ asked Ella.

  ‘The second of many,’ said Midge, patting her bump affectionately. Ella was struck by how confident she was of having a big brood. ‘You got any?’

  ‘No. Babies aren’t really my thing,’ said Ella, concentrating on Midge’s oddly shaped little toenail.

  ‘Nor mine,’ said Midge. Ella wasn’t sure what to say. ‘It’s okay, what I mean is I’m not looking forward to doing the disturbed nights and nappies again but I know it’s worth it because they develop into an actual person with a personality and a million possibilities.’

  ‘I guess,’ said Ella. She’d not thought much beyond the terror of childbirth and the overwhelming responsibility for another human being.

  ‘Ooh, it’s kicking. Do you want to feel? It’s okay if you don’t. I’ll not be offended.’

  ‘Umm … all right.’ Ella placed her hand on the woman’s extended middle. Midge repositioned it. Ella couldn’t feel anything, but Midge was smiling so she smiled back. She was about retrieve her hand when something fluttered underneath it and then pushed against her palm. Ella was amazed and quite touched by the experience. ‘Wow.’

  ‘It’s cool, right?’

  ‘Yes. It is very cool.’

  Ella decided to leave her nails and sneak into the shower before everyone suddenly realised they all had to be showered and changed and out the door in a couple of hours. Ella knew that Lorraine had her faults but she was finding the detailed schedules quite handy. It was a bit rigid but at least you knew where you were meant to be at any point in time and she’d obviously spent a lot of effort putting it all together for her sister. Ella got out of the shower as someone was banging on the door.

  ‘Occupied,’ she called out in a cheery voice.

  ‘It’s relaxation time, Ella,’ snapped Lorraine. ‘You’re meant to be relaxing with everyone. We’re doing group meditation.’

  ‘Umm sorry. I thought I’d have a relaxing shower instead. I’ve got lots of hair to wash and didn’t want to hold people up later.’

  Lorraine grumbled something but then it went quiet, she assumed she’d gone to check up on someone else.

  Ella darted out of the bathroom and into their bedroom where Lucy was sorting out their outfits. ‘How’s your phone?’ asked Lucy.

  ‘Still dead,’ replied Ella, picking it up off the bed to have another check. The drop from the treetops had been too much for it. ‘I promised Kit I’d text his mum tonight.’ Lucy gave her an odd look. ‘Long story.’ She went on to explain their plan which didn’t sound quite as robust in the retelling.

  ‘Have you got Jane’s number?’ asked Lucy.

  Ella pulled the note from her bag. ‘Here. If you don’t mind messaging from your phone later on that would be great.’

  ‘I have a much better idea,’ said Lucy with a wink. ‘Anyway. Let’s focus on the matter in hand. Outfits. They’re the same size so you can choose,’ said Lucy, splaying out her hands over two bright checked crop tops.

  ‘I’ll go with the hot pink. I think.’

  ‘Excellent choice,’ said Lucy, handing it to her.

  Ella studied the top. ‘It’s not classic Wild West is it?’

  ‘No, but trust me this was the best of the suggestions. It was a close call between this, Playboy bunny girls or ballerinas.’

  As it turned out when it was teamed with ripped jeans, boots and a cowboy hat it didn’t look too bad. And as they were all in similar clothes it was fine.

  Lorraine had sorted out Brittany’s outfit and it was very Dolly Parton with a tasselled shirt and big white Stetson but she looked fantastic and it was good to see her a little happier. There was lots of excitement as more and more hens appeared in the living room and everyone applauded.

  Martha strutted in wearing a checked boob tube and Daisy Duke denim hotpants teamed with thigh-high leather boots.