Oopsy Daisy Read online

Page 2


  ‘This Connor chap then. Too good to be true?’ asked Bert.

  Anna was taken by surprise by the comment and a snort of a giggle escaped. ‘I don’t know. He seems nice enough.’

  ‘Nice?’ Bert pulled a face. He was as judgemental as Sophie over her word choice.

  ‘Yes, nice is a good thing. I like him.’

  ‘Hmm,’ said Bert, feeling for the table to put his cup on. ‘If I ask you a few questions you have to answer honestly with which of the two men pops into your mind. Okay?’

  ‘Not really. It sounds like being on Jeremy Kyle.’

  ‘I can’t stand him, the whining West Ham supporter. Come on, humour an old man,’ said Bert, shuffling to the edge of the seat.

  Anna let out a loud sigh. ‘O-kay.’ She closed her eyes and concentrated. ‘Ready.’

  ‘Going to the cinema.’

  ‘Connor. Hudson and I can’t decide on anything.’

  ‘Trapped in a lift together.’

  Anna was tempted to ask what floor they were on: if it was high up in one of those glass ones she’d probably pass out anyway so it wouldn’t matter who she was with. Connor would be calmer than Hudson but Hudson was a better talker. ‘Hudson, if we’re going to be stuck for anything over half an hour.’

  ‘Have a row with.’

  ‘Hmm, Hudson. I don’t think I could have a row with Connor.’ Her lips lifted at the edges as she thought of how easy-going Connor was.

  ‘Dress shopping.’

  ‘Connor. Hudson doesn’t have the patience.’

  ‘Be silly with.’

  Anna paused. She was going to say Connor again but she couldn’t recall laughing with him like she could remember laughing with Hudson. ‘Either.’

  ‘No. That’s not the game. Choose one.’

  ‘Okay. Hudson, I think.’

  ‘Tickle fight.’

  ‘Tickle fight?’ Anna’s eyes popped open.

  ‘Yep. Imagine having a tickle fight. Who is it you’re fighting with?’

  The image was already in her mind and it confused her. ‘Hudson. Why?’

  A satisfied smile crept onto Bert’s lips. ‘You know tickle fights always end in a kiss?’

  ‘Err, I think that’s the end of that game,’ said Anna, suddenly flustered.

  ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.’ Bert reached out a hand and Anna took it.

  ‘You are cheeky.’

  ‘No point getting old if you don’t get crafty,’ said Bert, and they both laughed. But he had sown some seeds for Anna to dig about in. ‘Now, there’s someone I’d like you to meet. Rosie, are you there?’

  A perky little lady almost sprang from a nearby armchair and Anna realised she must have been watching them all this time. ‘Yes, Bert. Are you okay?’

  ‘I’m fine. I’d like you meet a friend of mine. This is Anna,’ he said, pointing in her general direction and smiling proudly. Anna felt a warm glow of affection for the old man. ‘Nice to meet you, Rosie,’ she said, shaking the bony hand.

  ‘And you, dear. He talks about you and Maurice all the time. And all the men in your life. It seems very exciting.’

  ‘She exaggerates,’ said Bert, a little flushed.

  ‘So does he,’ said Anna, wagging a finger at Bert.

  Sophie had been having the same conversation for what felt like slightly longer than forever when Anna pulled up. Hopefully she’d be able to make sense of whatever Mrs Nowakowski was going on about.

  Mrs Nowakowski was now waving her arms frantically. ‘D’ese is not that sort of neighbourhood. You look like you’re advertising burdel. Shame on you!’

  ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Anna, butting in.

  They both started to speak at once and Anna held up her hands to stop them. ‘Sophie, hang on.’ Anna gave her best ‘bear with me’ face before turning to the older woman. ‘Mrs Nowakowski, what seems to be the problem?’

  ‘You make this nice place look like burdel. That is problem.’ She crossed her arms and gave a sharp nod of her head.

  ‘I think she means brothel.’ Sophie dissolved into giggles and felt the baby kick in response.

  ‘Why? What have we done?’ asked Anna.

  ‘The bra hanging in your window.’ Mrs Nowakowski pointed round to the side of the building where Anna’s lounge window was. Anna walked round and as the laughter died Sophie followed. When they reached the window the three women stopped and stared at the large bright red bra hanging there.

  Anna looked at Sophie and gave a tip of her head. ‘What?’ said Sophie. ‘It’s not mine.’

  Anna unfolded her arms and pointed to her chest. ‘Well, it’s definitely not mine!’ Anna was grinning.

  ‘Is it the international symbol for brothel?’ asked Anna.

  ‘According to Mrs Nosy-kowski,’ whispered Sophie.

  As the two friends descended into yet more giggles Mrs Nowakowski shook her head and went home. Eventually they realised they were alone and went inside. Anna tugged down the bra that was hooked over the handle of the window, shook her head and dropped the bra in the dirty clothes bin.

  Sophie didn’t really understand why Anna had hung the bra up, but it had made her laugh and she had to admit it was like one of hers but she was wearing her big comfy maternity bras at the moment, so it couldn’t have been. She thought for a second how funny Dave would think it was, then remembered her situation. Suddenly emotion swamped her and she had to swallow hard to keep it in check. Perhaps the break from Dave was having a bigger impact on her than she cared to admit.

  Anna made chicken Caesar salad for dinner and they ate it in silence, interrupted only by the pitiful begging mews of Maurice trying to snag a little chicken. He’d already wolfed down his own meal of Ocean fish in a light gravy but some days it was hard to fill him up. Anna was still smiling to herself about the bra. She had no idea why Sophie had hung it in the window unless it was purely to wind up Mrs Nowakowski. Sophie no longer looked amused. She was violently spearing croutons, making her current mood very apparent.

  ‘What’s up?’ asked Anna.

  ‘I had to say goodbye to the kids and I know they’re going to have an amazing time on holiday with Granny Kraken and it means I don’t have to go to Butlins but it still felt horrid.’

  ‘Were they okay?’

  ‘Oh, yeah. I think that made it worse. Arlo had a strop because we made him get out of the car to kiss us both goodbye and Petal happily waved and blew raspberries as she was driven away. They couldn’t have cared less. It was horrible.’

  ‘Kids take things in their stride. How was Dave?’

  ‘He wound me up. I came back here to escape and got hijacked by Mrs Nowakowski and bra-gate. I thought she was nice but today she really put the cow in Nowa—’

  ‘Now, now. She might have had a point. What did Dave do to wind you up?’

  Sophie dropped her fork and it clattered onto her plate. Maurice gave her a haughty look at the disturbance. ‘Arlo brought home all his schoolbooks and I was looking through them. When I was away on the team event, Dave had to check Arlo’s homework. It was one sodding line, that was all, and he never bothered to check it.’ She was shaking her head.

  ‘What was wrong with it then?’

  ‘Arlo had written, “I love cock!” with an exclamation mark at the end. Which to be honest I thought was really advanced for his age …’

  ‘Cock?’ asked Anna, her face distorted with the effort of not laughing.

  ‘Yes. Obviously he meant Coke,’ said Sophie, giving her friend an old-fashioned look. ‘Which, more to the point, Dave shouldn’t have been letting him drink either. Anyway, his teacher had corrected it and put a smiley face …’

  ‘Dave’s a cock,’ said Anna, and Sophie nodded her agreement. They looked at each other across the small table and dissolved into hysterics.

  When they were all called together for a 9 a.m. briefing they knew it would be Liam’s presentation and there he was standing at the front of the room looking
smug. Liam watched her walk in but his expression remained fixed. Bugger, thought Anna. She’d already calculated her redundancy. It wasn’t a lot, but it should mean she wouldn’t have to look for something until the new year, which was a bonus. Perhaps she’d take herself off for a holiday.

  Hudson strode into the room, overtook a few meanderers and slotted into the seat next to Anna. ‘D Day has arrived,’ he said, exuding enthusiasm as always.

  ‘Here,’ she said, handing Hudson her phone. ‘This is a picture of Liam doing ballet aged eight.’

  Hudson held the phone and immediately his shoulders started to bob up and down as he took in the photograph of a small boy in a very tight orange leotard displaying a very obvious lump. ‘Where did you get this?’

  ‘I remembered his mum sent me a load of old photos for his birthday last year and I thought it might help if we had this to look at while he delivers our fate.’

  Karl took the seat next to Hudson and immediately clocked the photo. ‘Someone’s excited about ballet. Who’s this?’

  ‘Liam,’ said Hudson, through splutters of laughter. Liam glanced over and they huddled around the phone and reduced their volume.

  ‘Bloody hell, remind me not dump you,’ said Karl to Anna. She tried to snatch her phone back but Karl was already passing it along their row.

  ‘I think everyone’s here,’ said Roberta, stepping up onto the platform. Liam started fiddling with his laptop and looking anxiously at the projector screen behind him and back to the laptop.

  ‘Is he trying to get something up?’ asked Karl, and they all began sniggering. There was something infectious about trying not to laugh in serious situations.

  The presentation that followed could have told them they were closing the company down at lunchtime and they would have still had smiles on their faces. As it was, the main focus was on a total process overhaul, with the application of Lean methodologies at both the UK offices and in New York. There was a restructure but as everyone scanned it quickly to find their name, they were reassured nobody was missing from their team. Basically Liam had seized the merger as an opportunity to improve the current processes, which delayed things a bit but made ultimate sense. However, there were predicted reductions in the call centre and processing areas following the implementation of the suggested changes. The big impact for Anna was their programme was getting bigger but Anna saw this as a positive. Liam had taken the approach of ‘while we’ve got the bonnet up, let’s see what other improvements we can make’. Yes, there would be plenty of rework but this would definitely be a sizeable deliverable on her CV and excellent experience too.

  Roberta gave what was probably meant to be a rousing speech and ended with a quote in large letters on the big screen that read – The only way to get what you want in this world is through hard work. ‘And do you know who said that?’ she asked.

  ‘Minnie Mouse?’ whispered Karl.

  ‘Tiana from The Princess and the Frog,’ said Roberta solemnly.

  ‘So close,’ said Karl with feeling.

  Anna caught Liam looking at her and he gave a tentative smile before explaining the timescales.

  ‘Timescales are tight,’ whispered Anna to Hudson.

  ‘Not as tight as his ballet leotard,’ chipped in Karl. Anna was starting to feel bad about sharing the photograph and she snatched back her phone. Liam hadn’t stitched her up, which was what she had feared he would do. He had done a good job. In fact he could have recommended a separate project for these changes and left Anna and Hudson to finish the merger but what he’d actually done was give them a significant programme of work and enhanced their current project. He’d also stuck to his word and not said anything about her and Hudson because if he had that would have spread as quickly as only office gossip can. She almost felt like she should thank him.

  ‘Scope now includes New York,’ said Hudson, with a broad smile. He’d said he was missing New York – was this his opportunity to go home? There was a natural split for the two of them with Hudson managing the changes in New York and her managing the UK project. In one simple slide she could see logically how things should be managed and it meant them going their separate ways. It would no longer be shared responsibilities; there would be clear deliverables for both of them, which was exactly what she’d wanted from the very beginning, but now it didn’t seem such an issue.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  ‘Who do these belong to?’ said a grinning Sophie, waving aloft a pair of men’s Spider-Man underpants as Anna dashed into the kitchen to avoid the downpour outside.

  ‘What?’ said Anna, glancing at the swinging underwear. She kicked off her heels and sighed with relief. It had been a very long day. She gave her toes a wriggle. Maurice was lying in the hall stretched out like a furry road bump.

  ‘Who is Mr …’ Sophie paused to study the label ‘… large?’ asked Sophie.

  ‘Who’s who?’ asked Anna, starting to feel a tiny bit irritated by the silly conversation and the stupid pants.

  ‘The owner of these.’ Sophie waved the pants dangerously close.

  Anna pulled her head out of the way. ‘I don’t know what you’re on about,’ she said, an unpleasant thought dawning on her. ‘Unless you’re trying to tell me you’ve had a man in here. Have you hooked up with someone?’ asked Anna, now paying full attention to the swinging undies.

  ‘What? No,’ said Sophie. ‘Do you really think I’d do that?’ Sophie lowered the pants to hang limply at her side.

  ‘I hope not. Why are you waving them at me then?’ Anna arched an eyebrow as confusion reigned.

  ‘Fine. Don’t tell me. I thought we didn’t keep secrets,’ said Sophie, throwing the offending undies at Anna’s feet and stomping off to the spare bedroom. Anna shook her head. She was totally bewildered by what had gone on. It was looking increasingly like Sophie was losing the plot. Anna took the tongs from the drawer, picked up the pants with them and dropped them unceremoniously into the non-recycling bin.

  Maurice wound himself around Anna’s legs. ‘Hiya, Maurice,’ she said, giving him a stroke. ‘I bet you wonder what’s going on too, don’t you.’ Maurice did one more rub round her legs and slunk off.

  Anna thumbed through her post. A large envelope intrigued her and she ripped it open first. Her whole body jolted. She stared wide-eyed at the contents. There was a covering letter thanking her for her interest and a glossy brochure for her old university. Her hands began to tremble and she dropped the brochure on the countertop. Why would the university send her a prospectus? She speed-read the letter again. It had all her details printed on it; it hadn’t been misdelivered. It was definitely meant for her. But she hadn’t requested it. There must be some mistake.

  Her stomach lurched at the familiar buildings on the brochure’s cover. She reached out a finger to trace the lines of the main hall and unwelcome memories rushed back. Her mind was reeling. Anna tried so hard to not think about her time at university but in an instant she felt herself being sucked back there. She pulled her hand away. It had been a place that had held so much promise and opportunity but it had all been shattered abruptly, spinning her off plan. It seemed like every time she was moving on with her life the past had a way of rearing up and catching her off-guard.

  Why had the university sent this to her? Was someone trying to freak her out? Or more specifically was Liam trying to freak her out? If it was him it was a very odd way to go about trying to win her over. Unless he hoped she’d turn to him in crisis. Her mind was a muddle of questions and an uncomfortable sensation was bubbling in her gut. She scooped up the brochure and dropped it into the recycling bin. It would be some silly computer error, she told herself. Those sorts of things happened all the time. It didn’t mean anything. The brochure images swam in her mind. She just needed to forget about it. She could do that. She had to.

  Anna was distracted by Sophie shouting but by the time she got to the bedroom Sophie had already thrown her phone down in disgust.

  ‘He’s gone
and got steaming drunk,’ said Sophie, folding her arms tightly across her ample chest. ‘I leave him and he gets the beer out to celebrate.’

  ‘I’m sure it’s not exactly like that,’ said Anna. She couldn’t imagine Dave was celebrating.

  ‘He’s rung me to ask me to come home. Is that all he thinks it takes? I’m so desperate a drunk phone call will have me running ba …’ She couldn’t finish the sentence before the tears came. Anna sat on the bed, wrapped her in a hug and rocked her gently. Dave was thoughtless. Anna was sure he had no idea how much he hurt Sophie sometimes. When Sophie’s tears had dried, Anna went and made her a decaf coffee.

  ‘You drink this and settle yourself down with some reality TV and I’m going to have a word with your feckless husband.’ It was time for some home truths.

  Sophie looked surprised. ‘Do you think you should?’

  ‘Yes, because I’m his friend too. And when your friend is acting like a prize knob then you call them on it.’ Anna smiled and Sophie gave a weak version in return.

  It took ages for Dave to answer the door. When the door did finally open the disappointment on Dave’s face told her a lot. ‘I thought you were Sophie,’ he said, a faint slur in his voice and a heavy scent of beer wafting off his breath.

  ‘How many have you had?’ Anna followed him inside and shut the door.

  He held up one finger. ‘One …’

  ‘One? Was it served in a bucket?’